To protect the innocent and the not so innocent (and also just for kicks) I’m coming up with aliases for those who surround me.
A little background on my family – There are six of us kids. I’m the youngest, and I have three older brothers and two older sisters. The closest in age to me is a brother with an 8.5 year difference. The farthest in age from me is a brother who is 22 years older than me. I along with two of my brothers are adopted. We’re black and the rest of them are white. That’s pretty much the basic makeup of our family – I wish it were that simple in real life!
- Mom- Mother Dear
I began calling my mom ‘Mother Dearest’ after watching Pound Puppies because a character named Brattina called her mother Mummy Dearest. I loved it and changed it to Mother Dearest. A year or two later I found out about the movie Mommie Dearest. It’s become a bit of a joke that I would refer to her by a name very close to that of the movie because I have such a wonderful mother!
- Dad- Father Dear
I couldn’t have a mother dear without a father dear. My dear sweet father needed a name too. This is how I actually refer to the both of them in real life.
- Eldest Brother and Wife- Number 1 and The Vegetarian
At home, the caller id for my oldest brother is ‘Number One’. I stole it for this blog. He is a preacher with a wife and four kids. He’s also super clever.
1. Lumberjack -Number 1’s oldest son works in a lumberyard (they live in the South).
2. Pretty Girl-His one and only daughter is a very pretty girl.
3. Curly-He has curly hair (coming up with names is hard, OK?)
4. Slick-That’s his nickname in real life, ’cause he’s one slick dude. Seriously his iPod is personalized to say ‘This iPod belongs to Slick’.
- Next Oldest Brother and Significant Other- Superstar and The New-Yorker
This brother is Raymond from Everybody Loves Raymond. I’ve never met someone who hasn’t relayed praise about him to me. He plays professional basketball, he’s light-skinned, he’s charming. I’d hate him if he weren’t my brother (haha just kidding, BUT I LOVE HIM DEARLY, DON’T GET IT TWISTED). He has currently has one daughter.
1. Drama Queen
In the life of Superstar’s daughter, everything is a tragedy or a comedy, but either way it’s always spirited!
- Next Next Oldest Brother and Wife- The Artist and the Muse
This sibling is closest to me in age (8.5 years older) and is a super talented artist. He can draw like nobody’s business and his tattooing skills are stellar. I thought about calling him the Gentle Giant because he’s quite tall and very sweet. I call his wife the Muse because every artist has his muse.
- Oldest Sister and her Husband- The Other Sister and Jamie Starr
She’s twenty years my elder but certainly doesn’t look it. She’s super cool. When I told her the story behind calling our sister the Nice Sister she said she wanted to be called the Other Sister. So that’s her alias. She has a husband (I called him Jamie Starr because he’s a huge Prince fan. He actually is the one who introduced me to Prince’s music) and two kids.
1. The Photographer
Their firstborn child says she wants to be a radio disk jockey when she grows up. I enlisted her help with taking photos because she’s always running off with my camera anyways. She also loves animals and has and endless rotation of questions. I toyed with calling her the veterinarian, DJ, or the inquisitor.
2. Lil’ Ruffneck
This cute little dude is always moving unless he’s watching television, and even then… He should play football when he gets older because he is fast and most assuredly knows how to tackle any and everybody.
- Youngest Sister and Husband- The Nice Sister and The Judge
My sister is not younger than me, and is in fact almost twenty years older. She too is super cool. She’s the reason I started this blog. The reason I have dubbed her the Nice Sister is because when my best friend met her for the first time, she turned to me and said “Wow, she must be the nice one!” Mind you, I’ve never referred to my sisters as the nice one and the mean/other one to seriously differentiate between them, but now I do! The Judge (I call him the Judge because that’s his job. I also thought about calling him his nickname from college which was old man haha.) and Nice Sister have two children.
We’ve been wishing my sister good luck with her daughter for as long as I can remember because she is super clever, smart, and mischievous. But seriously, she started speaking in full sentences with correct grammar from the get go. She can draw better than me (not saying much). It’s nearly impossible to keep up with the things she comes up with. There are loads of stories about this one and her little brother.
This kid’s diet is almost completely made up of candy. He asks me for candy whenever he sees me. He loves the superheroes and the Ninja Turtles. He too is quite the clever fellow.
- Best Friend- Friend
I won’t tell you how many years we’ve been friends because we can’t agree on it. In fact we had a knock down, drag out battle about the amount of years and still can’t agree haha. I will say that we met in the fifth grade and haven’t hated each other ever since. I actually don’t call her by her given name in real life, I call her ‘friend’ and she does the same with me. We’re quite annoying, really haha.
Until we meet again (I’m being corny on purpose, I promise)